Half-Masked

So, I’m watching Lucky Star in English now. To those who despise english localizations, they might be surprised to hear that this is actually better than the fan-subs. The writing is stronger and more transparent, and I think it’s even got a better voice cast. The Japanese version is mostly watchable due to Konata’s voice actress. In English, it’s her best friend/subject of personal amusement “Kagami” who steals the spotlight.

Everyone's first(and last) reaction to Yaoi.

Kari Wahlgren is the best part of watching this show in my native tongue. Not just because she hits the right notes, but because her decision to play the character in a higher pitch than the original Japanese portrayal makes Kagami a lot more… approachable? That’s the best word I can think of right now. In any case, she makes this purple-haired blanket a little less wet. Now the original voice just sounds so distant and hollow.

TROGDOOOOOR!!!

In fact, for the first dozen or so episodes I kept thinking that she and Wendee Lee should have exchanged roles. It’s not that Lee doesn’t do a good job as Konata, but it’d be impossible to match what Aya Hirano brought to that character. There was just the -way- she said something like “Oy! Kyo-Chan! KYOO-CHAAAN!” that is inescapably adorable and unique to her(not to mention it lends incredibly well to youtube). Wahlgren seemed closer to that slithering cuteness, and it wasn’t until a certain episode spoofing another anime series that Lee’s casting made sense. Konata’s job is practically to cosplay/impersonate another character Lee played, so a reprisal was needed. I’m comfortable with that. But for a while there, it was a challenge to reconcile myself from the immortal japanese voice.

Rape!

Unfortunately, in a cast of well over a dozen, only a couple of other characters appealed to me. One of whom is Kagami’s fraternal twin “Tsukasa”. A timid creature, she’s clingy towards her family and friends, and despite having much more in common with Konata’s lazy, distracted nature, she relies and hangs onto her older sister for dear life. Most of the time she’s more scenery than company, rarely speaking at great length to anyone besides Kagami. She usually just patiently listens to her and Konata’s “comedy” routine without adding anything of her own. As she puts it: “(She) has nothing funny to say.” Well you don’t see that stopping anyone else in this show!

I was glad to see she got a new cell-phone, given her experiences with them before. This is also a good example of how the writing is actually better in the English dub than in the subtitles. Note the difference between English and Japanese in how Tsukasa responds to her cell-phone being destroyed.

SUB: “My Cell Phone… My cell-phone…”
DUB: “My Poor little cell-phone… He never hurt anybody!”

SUB: “I wonder if they’ll buy me another one…”
DUB: “They’ll never buy me another cell-phone again!”

I'll call for pizza, I'll call my cat!

Another character that caught my attention is “Misao”, the brunette with a fang. But that’s mostly just because she’s voiced by Lara Jill Miller in the dub. Now there’s a voice I haven’t heard in a long time. I wonder if she should have played Konata? Although the whole point of the character she does play is that she’s similar to Konata, so, technically she already has.

That’s another thing. TOO MANY FUCKING REPEATS OF THE SAME 3 DAMN CHARACTERS

You know what this shot needs? More boring one-note characters!

And then there’s the little red-headed girl who’s the class representative. She’s friends with a tall, quiet girl who’s insecure about her physical appearance/cup size and acts as a watchdog for the little girl. There’s even a scene with the little redhead girl playing with a big, friendly white dog.

Looks like I'm not the only one C+P-ing.

What do these other personalities bring to the show? I’ll get back to you on that when they say or do anything interesting.

Whether this is a problem in the manga as well or a difficulty encountered solely in the anime, this show quickly loses any sense of where to go with its characters and thinks jamming more and more slightly newer faces into the mix will distract from that.

It certainly doesn’t do a good job at hiding the fact that the same stupid shit occurs in every single episode. The same conversations, the same back-and-forth, the same timing, to the point where I’m almost convinced I’m watching clip-shows, frankenstein’d from previous airings. These characters are never explored, they don’t grow or learn. They don’t even get consistently worse. That would at least be interesting. This is a series of characters in stasis, any opportunity for exploring them or exploring new ways to tell a joke through each other seems to be in suspended animation.

Here’s pretty much every episode of Lucky Star:

Konata says something about japanese geek culture in the same way Jerry Seinfeld discusses razors in an airplane bathroom, expecting everyone to know what the fuck she’s talking about. Kagami responds with a question that encourages Konata to continue. She describes her observation while forgetting to make it humorous. Kagami explains that she should study more. Konata turns around and says something that pokes Kagami in the ribs or provokes her to-

OK, divide that by 0. In 24 episodes, there is maybe 5 or 6 episodes worth of material. The rest is soggy left-overs. I liked Konata and Kagami and Tsukasa, and in the last episodes I even started to warm up a little to the other rainbow-haired girls. But this show never really knew what to do with them. My favourite scenes aren’t even scenes, but small snippets of dialogue or animation. I remember tiny, disconnected, unspecific moments instead of anything substantial. Since every episode is so similar, it’s hard to tell what episode a certain gag was from(this makes looking for specific screenshots a serious pain in the ass).

Nothing ever actually happens. They play the same routine into the ground. Is it any wonder these girls have such insane hair colours? Many of them are as interesting as dirt. I appreciated the more natural presentation of their dialogue at first, but it wasn’t long before I started to wish they’d stop trying to be a Japanese “Seinfeld”. It certainly could’ve been a lot more.

NOBODY CARES THAT YOU'RE SO HELPLESS YOU CAN'T EVEN CLOSE THE LID ON A FUCKING JAR! YOU'RE NOT ENDEARING!

It comes perilously close to character development on several occasions. There is an entire act in a later episode devoted to exploring the relationship Konata’s parents had before her mother passed on, and the fallout that ensued. That was a high point for this program.

Then there is this one concert scene where Kagami kindly offers her seat to a friend, when the unfathomably small-for-her-age Konata can’t see the performance over the tall shoulders of the man sitting in front of her. As they’re walking home, Konata looks down the whole way. There is something there to suggest she was affected by Kagami’s selfless decision. “I wonder what this feeling I’m feeling is…”

I only have two more episodes to go, and it hasn’t been brought up again so far. Here they were, so close to a genuine and touching moment that could have brought some depth to characters that really need some, and then it’s instantly forgotten. I’m starting to doubt any of these girls have an attention span necessary to recall moments of real significance. It’s like it never fucking happened. They dive immediately back into the status quo as soon as the scene is over.

Also, whoever voiced Patricia Martin in the dub needs to be smacked upside the head with a rolled-up newspaper. Preferably while shouting: “No! BAD VOICE ACTRESS! THAT IS NOT! HOW PEOPLE! SOUND!“ 

I’ll stick with it to the end, but this show isn’t making it easy for me.

END OF LINE

~A.H.