Archive for July, 2009

“Up” Review

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Picture couresty of Pixar, blogques.cyberpresse.ca.

Picture courtesy of Pixar, blogues.cyberpresse.ca.

“Up” surprised me, which rarely happens for me at the movies anymore. It is not only cheerful fun, but surprisingly attentive to the shortcomings and heartache Real Life is prepared to offer. Because it is a family-oriented animated film, you should know what to expect. I can confirm it involves a chipper and grumpy Odd Couple, fish-out-of-water cast who get into inexplicable chase scenes, along with colourful animal sidekicks that will become the favourite characters of everyone who sees it. If this sounds familiar, it means you’ve seen at least one other Disney film before. But because this is also a Pixar feature, it knows when and how to twist the familiar into something unusually involving, and richly understanding.

Do not underestimate this one, as I did. I said months back that “Up” looked like “a Dreamworks movie“. Having seen it, I stand by this statement. But it is a very good Dreamworks movie, a “Shrek 1″ if you will. Perhaps it is not as engaging or inventive as Wall-E, it is more routine and by-the-numbers. But they are the right numbers for this film. It is a pleasant movie that allows its characters some humanity in-between cute comic relief and nonstop, time-padding action and adventure.

If I could change anything about it, I would have more of the former and less of the latter. I think when the main character of a big-budget animated Disney film is a gray-haired, nonathletic Ed Asner, that is interesting enough. I don’t really need any death-defying blimp showdowns. If nothing else, the intensity here might be better than what you’re getting with the latest from Michael Bay.

(I hate to quote anyone known as “Movie Bob”, but the Escapist’s movie critic makes an interesting point when he considers this a better action movie than Wolverine, Star Trek and Terminator combined).

We follow one of the later adventures in the life of Carl Frederickson(is it just me, or do they add “son” to the last name of every main character in newer movies for some invisible benefit during the trailers? “Efram Zimbalist Junior…son, was just an ordinary bee-keeper/brain surgeon/gorilla/robot…“). The previous decades are presented to us in a brave display of film-making, animated family-fare or not. It would be criminal to get into details if you haven’t seen it, and if you have, you already know damn well what I’m talking about.

I posit this, however: Frederickson has lived a pretty nice life, all things considered. Even at its darkest. It’s still a shame that it didn’t work out just a little bit better.  A shame too, that Russel’s happy memories of his father are few and far between. It is also unfortunate what happens during a misunderstanding over a mailbox(which also brings what may be the first visible instance of blood in a Pixar movie). These moments of the characters opening themselves, or being opened for us to see were, I felt, where the movie was its brightest. The ads and PR hype downplay Frederickson as a Grumpy Old Man first, who eventually warms up. But right from the start we see him as a bright-eyed star-gazer. It’s more that he’s temporarily chilled, and thawed out in the heat of the Venezuelan rain forest.

I appreciated this film’s honesty, although I’m also glad for when it decided not to latch itself too closely to reality. The entire time, I couldn’t shake the cold hard truth that if an old man with a criminal record on the run came back to civilization with a missing child, and his excuse involved a flying house, pilot-dogs with robot-voice collars and cryptozoology, there would be no happy, scrap-book ending. If Mr. Frederickson and Russel went through all of that in our world, he’d end up on the evening news.

I had fun watching it, even when it was buried knee-deep in clichés(of course there’s going to be a falling out of the main characters right before the big finale). Kids will like the dogs with high-pitched voices, the whimsical rainbow-feathered bird and the high-flying action, but those won’t be the scenes I remember when I’m Frederickson’s age. When Russel talks about his father to Frederickson, he tells him: “For some reason the boring parts are the ones I remember the most.

Lastly, in the pre-movie animated short “Partly Cloudy”, did anyone else look at the ill-fated stork and think of Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross? Or the down-on-his-luck Simpsons character he inspired, “Gill”?

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Fire Emblem, Sacred Stones: “Adlas Plains”

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Some Clarification:

Fire Emblem: Sacred Swords is a turn-based strategy game in a Fantasy yarn. Swords, sorcery, etc. What sets this series apart is that there are no faceless waves of grunt soldiers at your disposal. Every single recruitable troop in these games have individual appearances, special skills, weaponry, personalities, back-stories and relationships with the other characters. Each one is given a real voice, even if it’s a limited voice at that. Each soul echoes into something a little more valuable than wave after wave of suicidal little polygons in green combat attire(which is what we normally get from strategy games).

Oh, and there’s no Phoenix Downs here. When a character’s Hit Points go down to zero here, they are Dead with a capital D. That’s it. The End. This can alter future cutscenes, but only the “Lords” (IE: The main characters, usually no more than 3) are required to stay alive throughout the entire game. The battles you face in these games become increasingly complex and difficult, requiring strong, careful thought and consideration as well as strategic cunning. So, it’s generally a good idea to try and conserve as many troops as possible. The last few missions are usually a doozy.

One thing I like is that, if you put certain characters next to each other enough times, they’ll have little conversations that opens them up a little to the audience. Perhaps they relate tales of their youth, or suffer an argument, or words of encouragement. This makes it so that no matter how small their contribution to the story, no matter how uninteresting or weak they are, they are all a little indispensable.

On an optional mission, I had the following recruits:

Leader, Tank, Flying, Healer, Pirate, Archer, Thief, Priest, Mage. Combined, they weigh about 92 lbs.

The top 4 are a little higher-priority than the bottom row. Anyone who has played this game can see this is a terrible group to bring into battle. It is filled with weaklings. Archers, mages, priests, thieves and “Pegasus Knights”. Only one character in this group can withstand a gentle breeze and live to tell the tale, and that’s “Gilliam” the big green Tank in the upper left (which I’ve just noticed now is either delightfully ironic or the most obscure video game reference of all time). If anyone is going to survive this battle, it’s him. He’s an immovable object. I set him up, and they can’t knock him down. It’s going to take something a little more godly to best him.

Why did I bring all of these frail specialty troops into this gargantuan battle against the undead? That’s the thing with me: I’m not the type of guy who obsessively uber-trains certain characters into the ground and lets them take care of the entire game. I prefer covering my bases, and bringing the “inferior” characters up to code. I thought this would be a good opportunity to give these guys some much-needed Experience. I did not expect to fight 26 zombies, skeleton knights, giant spiders, wolf monsters, centaurs with giant battle-axes and crazy floating eyeballs that cast instantaneous death.

Ross, Neimi, Lute, Artur, Moulder and Corm aren’t totally helpless, but they’re not too far from it. Ross was for the first 6 chapters of the game. He’s young, he’s son to a much stronger axe-wielder. He’s the smallest, has the lowest HP, but if paired with other characters, and as long as he has an escape route, he can get by. I decided to train him until he could be promoted to a stronger class. But since his momma died, and their village destroyed by bandits, he and his father “Garcia” have had something to prove. He’s this game’s Rudy.

With patience and commitment, he does become stronger. Eventually I promoted him to a Pirate, which means he wields 2 axes at the same time. You know what they say about guys with two axes.

Lute is an ego-maniacal magic prodigy, who never turns down a chance to be insulting to everyone around her. She is a very “Mike Judge” character, if you know what I mean. I know I should hate this person, but god help me, I find her massive ego and patronizing rudeness somehow entertaining. The highlight would be when she lectures Vanessa, an experienced Pegasus Knight, on Pegasus mythology. Then when the conversation ends, she only says goodbye to the horse.

And if Ross and Lute hadn’t both died on an optional zombie-exterminating mission in the Adlas Plains, I’d have liked to have seen how their little stories and relationships developed. I sort of relied on pairing them up with Reimi(archer) and Artur(light magic dude) to get by. Now my options for those two are getting thin.

Ross went down in pretty epic fashion. I knew from the 26 or so Zombies, skeletons and giant eyeball monsters that it was only a matter of time before someone died. I noticed my near-promotion Vanessa in the path of a much stronger Beholder than normal. Artur’s Light magic usually takes them out in one hit, but he only has 3 more “charges” left before he is rendered offense-less. It has a ridiculously powerful dark magic attack, but Artur has trained for this all of his life, and it doesn’t phase him. Even so, the light magic is only able to reduce the beast’s health down to 3 hit points. Since it is still alive, it sets its sight on Vanessa. Artur’s Super Effective Lightning wasn’t enough. I send Ross in, he bites the big bazooka, and it’s at this point that I feel really bad for Garcia. Lost his wife AND his kid, one mission after he got promoted.

Artur uses up the last of his spell book to take down the eyeball that felled Ross. Ross is avenged, his last words his declaration that he is at last the warrior he always wanted to be. But now Artur is without any means of saving his friends or himself. He spent the remainder of the match as a distraction/meat-shield, still trying to keep his friends from suffering the same fate as Ross(yet he still got out alive). At least Ross did not die in vain, and at least then it really did feel like there was no way around it, like it was either him or Vanessa. There is valiance in his death.

But Lute was my own damn fault. I paired her up with the meek, crybaby archer Reimi. I see Lute as being her Peppermint Patty, so to speak. I could see her bossing around this poor, emotional pink-haired archer. The strategy I used seemed sound enough: Lute would distract the zombie, whittle down its HP with her magic, and then Leimi would finish it off with her arrows. Move onto the next. It worked the first time. I chose the boss zombie next. That was a grievous error. He looked just like the other zombies on the map, but he has green skin, much more health, and murderized Lute in one swipe of his claws. Her last words were: “I… don’t want to die…”

This was followed immediately by her dying.

I should have known better. Lute was an arrogant, miserable cunt with a god complex. But she didn’t deserve to DIE for it. And I can’t attribute her end to some act of inescapable heroism. She died because I made a bad call. Now I’m left with fewer and fewer team-mates, many of whom are still quite vulnerable and just as likely to befall the same fate, and two of which are unable to attack. A team of 9 has been reduced to 5. Although eventually they band together(with help from the courageous acts of an otherwise self-involved and not-at-all-powerful thief), it sucks knowing I won’t see Ross’s plucky determination or Lute’s cutting remarks any more.

In support conversations, for some reason Ross keeps trying to get Lute’s attention. She is passive and bitter as ever, but he keeps trying. Perhaps it was not meant to be. But I still wonder what could have been. I will wonder for as long as I play this game. GameFAQS will surely have the answer, but that’s not the point. The point is this video game, this Nintendo game has actually managed to get me to care for and regret the “loss” of its most despicable character.

That’s how I know this game is a cut above the norm. And this could happen at any point in the campaign! Be it their first appearances, or even in the last battle. Or maybe they could survive. Or maybe one survives and the other doesn’t. I am amazed at the flexibility this game’s narrative is allowed.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Michael Baysplosions

Monday, July 6th, 2009

I do not plan on seeing the new Transformers movie. Everyone I am even vaguely aware of possessing some fragment of intelligence has sunk their venom into Bay’s latest offering of incomprehensible CGI nonsense. My friend who once advised me to get a job solely for the purposes of getting enough money to become overweight, who decried The Beatles as being irrelevant and untalented, who once honestly suggested a video game based on a race war(for comedic effect) loved it.

I don’t want to say that anyone who likes this movie is a a drooling idiot. Maybe all of “teh criticz are rong abut evyrethin”. I’m just saying, I know where I stand. If I find I am sorely in need of aliens in Africa, Neill Blomkamp’s got me covered.

===

RE: The first film. A peculiar event that was. Watching it, I almost enjoyed myself more than once. As soon as I left the theatre, a series of nagging criticisms grew and grew, until I realized days later just how much I hated that movie. This might be why Roger Ebert gave the first a more optimistic review: It does an alright job of hiding its flaws in plain sight, until you have the time to process how stupid it all is. Judging from what I’ve heard on the grapevine(or is that e-vine? Or i-Vine?), that is not the case with ROTF.

Even so, I’d have at least considered it if they’d gotten Leonard Nimoy to play “The Fallen”.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Azumanga Daioh: The Bonkler Odori

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

I have made my way through a considerable amount of the Azumanga Daioh manga over the last week. I will speak on this at greater lengths  later. Until then, I present the following challenge to the fine men and women at Nico-Nico Douga:

I expect the results by next week. Show your work.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Status Report

Friday, July 10th, 2009

Let me give you guys a bit of an update on how things are going right now:

======

*- I am in the planning process for a machinima series utilizing Halo 3. Story outlines, scripts, and even some early filming and promotional materials are already completed. I still don’t know if it’ll get off the ground, I still have to figure out how I would actually get SOUND involved. But this is another reason why I haven’t been updating Half-Masked as much as I’d like to. Even so, it’s not enough of a time-sink that it’s the main culprit for the sparse updates. If I can figure out a way to speed up the drawing process without losing too much visual quality, I’ll be able to work on both. But while I figure out what to do with Half-Masked, I’ll get some more work done on this project in the meantime.

*- On that note, I’m currently experimenting with new ways to go about creating the comic. I’ve had it with the 4 panels as they are, the needless hours toiling away on art that isn’t “art-heavy”, yet is still unusually demanding and exhausting. I’m trying out new panel layouts, considering making the panels smaller, and I’m even tossing around the idea of throwing out colour. I never wanted Half-Masked to be one of those “Mini” strips, with blank backgrounds and incredibly simple character drawings. You may have seen this latched onto Fanboys Online or (ugh) CAD.

But I’m sick of how I currently make the comics. I get nothing out of it, it takes too damned long and the results are just not worth it. I’ve got a ton of scripts I like and wish to use as soon as possible, but they pile up in the time it takes me to get these strips out the door. I’ve got to find a way to streamline the process and make it a little more fun for me. After reading a large portion of Azumanga Daioh, I’m considering ways to make the comic more efficient and less of a soul-crushing marathon every time.

*- Speaking of Azumanga Daioh, I’ve done the research and discovered I’ve written over 25,000 words for the series, its characters, writers, directors and its heartfelt brand of comedy. And I am still not finished. So I make this pledge today, to you, the pharmaceutical spam bots that embody my entire readership:

I am going to write a book about Azumanga Daioh.

No, not fan-fiction. Not a novel. A collection of thoughts and feelings and examinations of a franchise that has affected me more than most franchises do. I don’t know how much of it will be lifted from the articles I have already written, or re-worked, or how much of it will be new material. I don’t know if it will ever “happen”, or come into existence. Such are the risks of an adventure in its first act.

I am aware that saying you are going to do something is a sure-fire way to ensure it will never be done. But I am too excited to keep quiet. For whatever reason, I occupy a state of trance-like, determined zeal when I write about Chiyo and Osaka and their pals. I am a better writer in the 30-or-so articles I’ve conceived for the work of Hirohiko Azuma than anywhere else. Some people refer to that as “The Zone“, and I am not willing to leave that place any time soon. That no one may ever read it is a real possibility, but this is an enterprise I am eager to embark on.

======

If and when any of these projects are ready to be unveiled, I will let you know. Wish me luck.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Left 4 Dead: No Mercy

Monday, July 20th, 2009

At the tail-end of each of the four campaigns in Left 4 Dead, you and your allies have to wait for rescue from the zombie hordes. During this time, the game pulls out all of the stops. Hundreds of zombies all at once pouring in through every orifice of wherever you’re holed up in for defense. Every single special infected save for the Witch appear in greater frequency to make your life much more annoying. And once that’s settled, you have to fight a Tank.

Repeat steps one and two. I respect anyone who can manage to get all 4 survivors out of the campaign alive, especially on the harder difficulties.

When the rescue vehicle does arrive, it becomes a mad dash to victory as the zombies/special infected/Tank all make one last daring attempt to turn you into a fine red pulp. It is not uncommon for four healthy, fit Survivors to reach for the finish line, only to have three or more be consumed in the horde on the way.

The “Finale” segments are a serious test of skill and strategy. Much depends on the resources available, the timing of pipe bomb and molotov throws, and where you and your allies decide to stand off against the seemingly infinite tide of zombie scum. On the “Expert” difficulty, this can be an excruciating ordeal. But on three of the campaigns, it is very possible to get through it alive.

In the “No Mercy” campaign, however, I am prepared to call this an impossible task. No, you will not argue this to me. There is no conceivable way to accomplish this. None. Not without very liberal cheating, as displayed in some youtube videos that exploit glitches and sealed-off level design to avoid combat altogether. If you tell me you have done this legitimately, I am prepared to call you a liar. If you show me video evidence of it being done, I will call it a hoax, or cry foul of “teh hax”.

I have drained the batteries in my controller attempting to see this part of the game to completion, and I am not convinced any human being, possessing any skill at video games can do it. You can be doing everything right, and you will never see the credits. Using as many different strategies as I can think of, and a few I hadn’t thought of, none are any better or worse than simply setting yourself on fire or jumping off the roof of the hospital this scenario takes place in. I properly planned where we would hide out, choosing several different locations to test their merits as a “choke point”, carefully set up gas canisters and propane tanks, made sure everyone was healed, assigned myself one or two “entry points” to focus on, while periodically checking over my fellow Survivors to see if they need my help. I keep a careful eye and ear out for Smokers, Hunters, Boomers and Tanks. I have tried different “roles”, with different weapons. I stay away from the worthless minigun on the roof. I have a better chance when I am near a robust supply of molotov cocktails and pipe bombs. The zombies are taken care of as best as they can be, but no amount of effort and strategy is ever enough.

I have tried everything within my or anyone’s abilities to man a rationally defined defense. There is virtually no way to survive this scenario on the Expert difficulty. Greater skill in first-person shooters would not help here. There is no time to reload or heal your allies, and no way to survive past the second horde(and sometimes you die sooner, thanks to the Smoker, or the Tank). A better reaction time is meaningless. The game demands nothing less than god-like intervention on your behalf.

It would be feasible if it weren’t for the game-destroying layout of the top of Mercy Hospital. The finale is bad enough on every other stage, but the roof of the hospital is home to some genuinely barbaric video game design. It is a giant, sprawling maze of vents and pipes and jutting squares. In any other campaign, you can survive. Not here. It is designed to make it impossible to tell where a Special infected is, or even reach or defend yourself against them, while giving the enemy a million places to hide and attack from. For all of its size and complexity, there isn’t a single defendable spot. Indoors, outdoors, the highest vent to the lowest section of the roof, not one place seems designed in mind to allow the Survivors even a faint suggestion of survival.

It doesn’t help that, despite my computer-controlled allies being commendably reliable for most of the game, it is in the last 10 minutes which they lose all will to live. If you are trapped by a Smoker and they are free of enemy distractions, they will not help you for some reason. If you find and prepare a good spot to hold out the incoming horde, they will refuse to follow, instead opting to stay still in the place with 5 different entry points, all the better for zombies to flood through. And when you lose, you don’t restart at the beginning of the Finale; you go all the way back to the start of this part of the stage and have to work your way back to the second half. I think this is the closest a game has ever come to giving me a heart-attack.

There is a level in Portal, possibly Valve’s finest game, where Glados tells you that the puzzle was improperly designed and apologizes for it being impossible. I would have appreciated that here. Instead I’m forced to assume either Valve believes it is in fact within any living human being’s abilities to complete “No Mercy” on Expert(which is delusional), or that it is a cruel joke sorely lacking in anything resembling a punchline.

I have never before so actively desired the existence of hell. After cursing at my television in languages unknown even to myself, I am prepared to believe that is the place for the creatures responsible. Those who forged this scenario know what they have wrought. They are no drooling neanderthols. This is the work of man-beasts who derive nourishment from the suffering of their paying customers.

No Mercy indeed.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Left 4 Dead: No Mercy Update

Friday, July 24th, 2009

So. After about 24 hours of accumulated time shouting at my television(in the vain hope that such violent language could somehow improve my odds of winning), I am now one of the supposed 3.6% of people who have beaten every Left 4 Dead campaign on “Expert”. However, I will never feel like I earned it. I’m convinced I never actually “won”. There were many, many times I should have tasted sweet victory, but then was robbed by stupid technicalities, glitches and outright cheating on the part of the game’s zombies(I can’t count the number of times a shotgun blast has simply vanished through the torso of everyone -except- my team-mates).

A more likely explanation to me would be the AI Director decided it was simply bored of winning at everything forever. It showed no mercy, but pity was involved, I’m sure of it. You could say this is a great advancement in AI, where a game has at last reached such an advanced state where it can be a masochist. I will karate-chop the nards of anyone who says this un-ironically.

Before, I consulted an online chum familiar with the game through many more hours of hands-on experience than I. He gave me some advice for that particularly hellish scenario (described here). His master plan? His big, game-saving secret strategy?

He told me to hide in a closet.

This was about as effective as negotiating peace with the zombie horde. But in all fairness, this was as reasonable (and successful) a strategy as everything else the game lets you do at that point. This single part of the game pissed me off more than a lot of games have when they were really trying to be dicks about it. It isn’t just a swollen, blistering pus-filled zit on the face of video games; it is a tatoo of the url for Golden Palance.com across Video Games’ forehead. We are talking about levels of fail here that would depress the dark ages.

I know, I know, “just don’t play on Expert mode then”. Here’s the problem: this game is unusually easy on every difficulty except Expert. For 99% of the game, it feels just right for me. It is tough, but not impossible. You are essentially choosing between:

  • -Medium
  • -Easy
  • -Very Easy &
  • -My Experience With Video Games Is Composed Entirely of Bejeweled

When the Finale starts, the game suddenly jumps up an entire difficulty bracket. No Mercy decides to bring it up to “Dante Must Die! + Ninja Gaiden”. That this game features the very best friendly AI of any game I’ve seen is a testament to the sometimes submerged quality of Left 4 Dead. But in the last 10 minutes of this campaign, these otherwise competent computer-controlled survivors become functionally retarded on the roof of Mercy Hospital. In no other place did this happen for me. They would stand perfectly still when a Tank arrived. They would stay in a far-off part of the level that cannot be accessed again after making progress, and they would simply refuse to heal themselves at points. If I wanted to lose because my team-mates suddenly come down with a terminal case of Moron, I’d play online!

I blame the location. The level design in that part of Left 4 Dead is so bloated, so ridiculous, so convoluted that it just completely mind-fucks their scripts and leaves them suicidal. These two things combined to lay waste to my efforts, but never in the three other campaigns.

And I hope whoever decided that every living survivor falling down counts as a game-over is soon denied employment. And the right to breed.

“Welp, we’re all fit and healthy OH NO I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP, EVEN THOUGH I’M A GROWN MAN AND NOT SERIOUSLY INJURED, I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP ON LIVING.”

I understand they wanted to make this a team-work sort of thing, by having standing players help you up. And I also acknowledge that sometimes the players are seriously hurt and require assistance. More often than not, they are actually quite healthy and there is no good god damned excuse why healthy, fit adults can’t just roll on their side like a turtle and upright themselves. Do you hear that Valve? Your incredible AI is still beneath the intelligence of a turtle! This is weapons-grade stupid, and has caused innumerable needless trips to the last safe room.

These and other complaints are why I did not rate the game higher in my review.

Gabe Newell: If I may make a bold suggestion for the sequel: DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN. Please. I don’t care that the cast of Left 4 Dead 2 look like the sorriest bunch of protagonists I’ve seen outside of Final Fantasy XII. As long as the paying customers aren’t forced into game design this pointlessly self-destructive, I’ll put up with the guy in the zombie apocalypse complaining about his $2,000 suit.

(I am not kidding. When facing hordes of fucking zombies, some of which explode, some of which are behemoths that can toss cars aside with minimal effort, this one guy in the game is more focused on his clothing. “Ignoring the mushroom cloud for a firecracker.“)

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Resident Evil 5: Reparations

Monday, July 27th, 2009

Much ado was made about the racially insensitive overtones in Resident Evil 5. The biggest complaint I’ve heard regards Sheva’s alternate costume, which is a tribal bikini ensemble. It was thought of as demeaning and objectifying towards women, which is so uncommon for video games aimed at horny men about girls with big tits shooting zombies.

But is it -racist-? I don’t think anyone at Capcom has a strong dislike for people of darker-hued skin. I think they went out to make something stupid, and overshot the mark just a tad. Maddox mentioned on his guest appearance on Doc Mock’s Movie Mausoleum that “Capcom really loves their fans.” This does not seem like an act of love, but neither does giving the most prominent, well-endowed female character in the game designed for young men a bikini become a statement against the black community.

Nonetheless, here are the new costumes for Sheva and Chris that PC owners get exclusively. Sheva can now be a professionally-dressed, intelligent, hard-working businesswoman. You might say that would be some means of alleviating the tension made by her bone-necklace/leopard print bikini set-up. But Capcom decided it wasn’t enough to merely try and bring her back to the level of dignity. Just to show there’s no hard feelings, now Chris is the one with the humiliating costume, looking like the gayest Kiss Soldier in a zombie-infested Africa.

Among the many ways I have seen companies attempt to make penance for their controversies, this is one of the more interesting. This doesn’t absolve the imagery of tribal zombies in grass-skirts that literally chuck spears at the player, but it’s about time Whitey got knocked down a peg.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Chrono Trigger Review

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

by Alex Hill

Just another lazy Frog-danglin' afternoon...

In 1992, two of the leading men behind the giants of Japanese Role-Playing Games boarded a plane, to check out the latest in computer graphics overseas. Hironobu Sakaguchi is the man behind the perpetual Final Fantasy series, and Yuji Horii is the brainchild of the intensely successful Dragon Quest series. Miles above the surface, they expressed mutual enthusiasm at the idea that they could, perhaps, achieve better results as co-workers. For years they were professional enemies, though not on bad terms. Siskel and Ebert were professional enemies too. Peanut Butter was once thought of as separate from Chocolate, until Reese’s came and blew everyone’s minds. They were excited at the idea of combining their strengths, and wanted to make a game that had never been conceived before. When they reached the tarmac, they didn’t have any solid ideas on where to take this enthusiasm. They had no clue that this would start the chain of events leading to a masterpiece. No one did. No one could have. No prospector truly knows when he is about to strike gold.

Chrono Trigger is about as close to a perfect game as you’re going to find. A marriage of nostalgia, style, warmth and design beyond its years, and maybe even ours. There is more here than in every first-person shooter, every complex strategy game, and even most modern RPGs. There are a million ways that these two developers, who are accustomed to doing what they do in opposition of each other, could have crashed into each other and left only smoking wreckage. Final Fantasy was, after all, made in response to Dragon Quest, Sakaguchi himself ensuring the game would differ from its competitor in areas he thought needed to differ. No doubt there were disagreements, changes. Every video game is a fluctuating creature, constantly shifting its hue. In the development process, no game is ever remotely similar to how it began. There were countless ways this could have gone badly, but this collision of ideas yielded fruit as sweet as the sun.

The two leaders of the genre brought along the best and brightest employees at their disposal to flesh out the concept they finally agreed upon a year and a half later, a story of time travel. In fact, much of it was left up to their staff. Horii would write purposely vague concepts he’d like to see in the game, and the combined team would fully detail and bring these scenarios to life. “If there’s a fairground, I just write that there’s a fairground; I don’t write down any of the details. Then the staff brainstorm and come up with a variety of attractions to put in.”

Akira Toriyama(yes, of Dragonball notoriety) here paints a universe unlike any seen in movies or games before it, or since. Sakaguchi described exploring his art as a “sense of dancing”. His characters are not squished little squares of archetypes, but vibrant, thoughtfully realized human beings, and that includes the frog and the robot. Even the monsters have a cartoonish, oddly respectable sense of character to them. I do not think of them as being there merely for the moment. I look at the imps and see them as having existed before their scenes, not simply popping in from the ether. Even the throwaway minions of evil have a history, and a life outside of their work.

The protagonists are beautifully iconic, completely distinct from one another. Their movements are spot-on, so brimming with charm that it’s almost a shame most video game characters are usually so static. Each has a voice of soul that is unique and rings out in the mind. Not one of them shows even a hint of being unlikable to the eye or deeper. All of them, perhaps even the laconic Crono have reasons for chivalry beyond principle. They carry the weight of insecurities and past trauma. Many are plagued by questions without easy answers, but through each other they find a common goal noble enough to make their own problems seem less significant. There are no boundaries when it comes to companionship, and in their weirdness they find reason to make their journey a happier one.

Several of the characters discover time travel incidentally, and their influence on the world(and all possible dimensions) begins to take its toll. Crono, being a man of indomitable goodness, offers his services to bring everything back to order. Ah, but is the damage irreversible? Even the slightest change effectively annihalates the timeline that began, so the theory is believed.

But let’s not get into the complicated stuff. This game isn’t about the rules or science of time travel, but of the romance of interacting with a younger(and occasionally older) version of our world. And the need to fix our mistakes, the things we thought could not be unbroken. There is a deeply touching scene involving Lucca, the dorky gadget-girl of what accounts for the modern age, given a chance to heal a deep family wound.

What she is doing is dangerous to the time-line, and even a little selfish. But her actions do not go unnoticed, or unappreciated. Other characters follow suit. They are given an opportunity no one else in history has ever been given, a chance to make things right. It’d be hard for any of us to say we wouldn’t use that kind of power for something serving us, more than The Planet. We’ve all been hurt, we’d all like a do-over. Even the main antagonist is not without his reasons.

Playing it again on the DS, I see more clearly than ever the painstaking depth of this world. The pixel pushers knew what they were doing here. To this day I can’t fathom or decipher how they made this game look the way it does. The attention to detail is as astounding as any Studio Ghibli film. Only yesterday did I realize the “orange” caves are orange because they are lit by torches, while the “blue” caverns have running water reflecting blue light on the jagged walls. Not many games of that era really took the time to consider the things like that. Everything looks the way it does for a reason. Every stone sticks in my mind long after the game has been played to completion(and completion, and completion…). There is a unified mission for the art-style and the presentation, which perfectly melds with the progression of the story.

Does this game have any noticeable flaws? “It’s too easy” I’ve heard. So what? Would this game have been improved if its battle system were needlessly complex? Would it have been better if you were furiously shouting at it now and then? That would compromise its audience. Make a game too hard and convoluted and you’ll only scare off some of your customers. A game like this invites everyone to the party. For me, the battles aren’t always about challenge. They’re about time, the central focus of this game. It’s about knowing the right techniques to use for the right situation, some of them involving characters teaming up to dish out magical worlds of hurt, and accomplishing the battles in record time.

It is “only” 20 hours long. Yes, the first time. Try and resist the “New Game +” feature, or the additional 10 endings. I double-dog dare you.

The biggest triumph of Chrono Trigger might be its music. This was Yasunori Mitsuda’s first professional game soundtrack. At his first to bat, he knocked one out of the park. He was just 23 at the time, which is incredible to me. Long established at Squaresoft only in a low-paying role in the sound department, he gave Sakaguchi-san an ultimatum: either he be allowed to score a video game or he would quit. This happened right around the time two companies were making their most ambitious project to date. Sakaguchi made a gamble, giving this untested young man fed up with his salary and position the responsibility of scoring this monumental undertaking. “Maybe your salary will go up.” Sometimes a hunch brings you the lottery.

Is it strange that the main composer, who wasn’t critically involved in the project from the start, became its most dedicated contributor? This is a man who had a lot to prove, and Sakaguchi-san knew that. Mitsuda suffered greatly for his work. A hard-drive crash destroyed a great deal of his initial music. He worked himself so hard he developed stomach ulcers. The legendary Final Fantasy composer Nobuo Uematsu had to fill in for the last ten tracks, further emphasizing the group effort mentality of the project.

Their compositions are profoundly striking, and conjure places and people and times as vivid, as real and as wonderful as any fiction. It never tries to upstage what’s on-screen; the music in Chrono Trigger is liberating, gorgeous and perfectly brings everything it envelopes to a higher place. Mitsuda created the music with genuine love for the characters and scenarios it accompanies, some of which was masterminded by a good friend of his, Masato Kato. You cannot show me a better ending theme in a video game than “To Far Away Times”. I will not suffer such delusions. Mitsuda made every inch of this game sing.

Chrono Trigger is a true timeless entertainment. It is as great today as it was in 1995, and it will be great tomorrow. It will be no different in 2995. It will be loved and remembered long after those who made it, and those who first experienced it are dust. The march of history may one day swallow and deposit this game into oblivion. But it will take something catastrophic. Let’s just hope there’s no time-travellers stepping on butterflies in the stone age right now. (Or is it right then?)

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~A.H.