Half-Masked

Episodes 1-8:

OMG THERES THES BIG HUGE FUCKEN ROBOT MECH FUCKERZ AN SHIT AN TEHYR ALL BLAM KAPOW BOOM AN SHIT EXPLODS AND FLYS EVEYRWERE AND HOLY SHIT TAT CHICKS GOT HUGE TITZ LIKE HUGE FRIKKEN TITTIEZ BEST FUCKEN SHOW EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!111#@@!$!^&635ONEONE

Episode 9:

OMG THERES THES BIG HUGE FUCKEN ROBOT MECH FUCKERZ AN SHIT AN TEHYR ALL BLAM KAPOW BOOM AN SHIT EXPLODS AND FLYS EVEYRWERE AND HOLY SHIT TAT CHICKS GOT HUGE TITZ LIKE HUGE FRIKKEN TITTIEZ BEST FUCKEN SHOW EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!111#@@!$!^&635ONEONE

The first is sarcasm. The second is not. No program has inspired more people I respect to bug me to watch it. Everyone who has ever met this show and demanded I witness it for myself have said the same thing:

“The show doesn’t pick up until episode 8.”

(more…)

by Alex Hill

There is a point in Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann where two robots the size of the milky way pile-drive each other through other, smaller galaxies. They use galaxies as ninja throwing stars. Surely, half of the universe dies because of this conflict, all to protect Earth. One planet, versus the trillions instantly obliterated in their intergalactic wrestling match(and countless googol deaths). For once, the bad guy, who tried to stop this from happening, has better priorities than the “heroes”.

(more…)

Announcer Bitch: Now here comes our next skier, representing China.

Announcer Douche: Boy, all of this snow must remind him of a bowl of rice.

I don’t remember who, or when, or what station, because normally the Olympics appeals to my interests just slightly less than detailed write-ups of the tax benefits for fake vomit companies. Maybe I just imagined it. But I could swear this is an actual thing that was said. On international television during one of the most-watched events in the world. By a Canadian.

No, really.

I am going to avoid the rest of the events, for fear of what vile word-sludge will seep out of their jaws next. Can you imagine what their response would be to a black contestant at the top of the hill?

Announcer Bitch: “…representing Kenya.”

Announcer Douche: “Boy, all of this snow must remind him of the cotton fields, BECAUSE 1950′S-ERA RACIALLY INSENSITIVITY IN 2010 IS OKAY, RIGHT????”

END OF LINE

~A.H.