Half-Masked

Episodes 1-8:

OMG THERES THES BIG HUGE FUCKEN ROBOT MECH FUCKERZ AN SHIT AN TEHYR ALL BLAM KAPOW BOOM AN SHIT EXPLODS AND FLYS EVEYRWERE AND HOLY SHIT TAT CHICKS GOT HUGE TITZ LIKE HUGE FRIKKEN TITTIEZ BEST FUCKEN SHOW EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!111#@@!$!^&635ONEONE

Episode 9:

OMG THERES THES BIG HUGE FUCKEN ROBOT MECH FUCKERZ AN SHIT AN TEHYR ALL BLAM KAPOW BOOM AN SHIT EXPLODS AND FLYS EVEYRWERE AND HOLY SHIT TAT CHICKS GOT HUGE TITZ LIKE HUGE FRIKKEN TITTIEZ BEST FUCKEN SHOW EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!111#@@!$!^&635ONEONE

The first is sarcasm. The second is not. No program has inspired more people I respect to bug me to watch it. Everyone who has ever met this show and demanded I witness it for myself have said the same thing:

“The show doesn’t pick up until episode 8.”

One of them even provided this detailed graph.

This is exactly why I did not want to start watching it. Fuck you, it should not take almost ten episodes(or four hours) for a show to become worth my time. Fullmetal Alchemist doesn’t take 8 god damned episodes to start getting good. And they are all correct: The first eight episodes of “Tengen Toppa Gurenn Lagann” are some of the worst television I’ve seen in years.

The young destined boy who holds the key to salvation, but just has to BELIIIEEEEEEVE in himself. The female character who is only there to provide a revolting, obnoxious amount of fan-service. Incomprehensible Dragonball Z violence and macho-showboating, written and drawn by people compensating for depressing genitalia. The worthless cutesy mascot character made solely for merchandising purposes. A billion and one useless side characters that aren’t fleshed out or made interesting. The mysterious, innocent, soft-spoken girl of a different species who is the lead’s romantic interest and also the Deus Ex Machina. A weird, little, un-talking old guy who contributes precisely dick to the show. Pandering to the lowest common denominator. All production, no value.

OH BOY, I KNOW I’VE NEVER SEEN AN ANIME LIKE THIS BEFORE

It is absolutely everything I hate about Japanese animation. For eight episodes, it is “OVERKILL: The Animated Series“, which I am sure nine-year old boys the world over must think is just great. Good for them. Then all of a sudden it stopped sucking its own dick and started trying to be a legitimate tv show. Those first episodes are truly awful(I only sat through them out of obligation to someone who knows a hell of a lot more about anime than I do). But without them, would it have had as much of an impact in episode 8 when a certain something happens to a certain someone? What happens isn’t what interests me, but the fallout and the effect it has on the other characters. They actually become characters, and not just mass-marketing corporate vomit.

I went in expecting it to be over-hyped and overrated. I found it to be irredeemable trash. Then it suddenly became awesome. If it were a solid show all the way through the beginning stretch(and it is a stretch), would my expectations have been completely shattered like that?

YES! To anyone who wants to go into television(especially “big robots with boobs” television), this is exactly how you don’t start off a show. The first episode is always crappy compared to the rest of a program’s run, because at that point the creators are still finding the show’s “voice”. I can give that much leeway. But eight episodes of crap, in a row? You don’t have to make your story stink and then take people off their guard to be remembered.

Did this show change directors or something? I’ve never seen a show, anime or otherwise, take such a sudden u-turn in quality. It’s still cliché as hell, but at least now it feels like it’s earned the right. Much of this came through for me with the introduction of the “Nia” character, which I’m sure I’ll blather about later. It’s not that she’s anything I haven’t seen before. But in one episode, I already like her more than most demure “Eureka” types. A joke you’ve heard before can still be funny; it’s all in the pitch.

I’m glad it stopped trying so hard to be terrible. Now it won’t be an obligation to keep watching. And now you guys can stop pestering me to see it.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 4th, 2010 at 1:04 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.